The bitch looks back

I'm sorry for all things I've done
to various boys and men
who did nothing to deserve them.
Kevin, I'm sorry I wouldn't kiss you
until I was ready to break up with you.
Jerry, I'm sorry that I broke up with you
because you weren't cool.
Mike, I'm not sorry for anything,
you were an asshole.
John, you were nice and I
just ignored you.
Adam, you were the same
as John.
Reggie, if only the timing
had been different.
Stewart, I could have been gentler
when I dumped you.
Dennis, I used you for sex
and didn't notice that you minded.
But hey guys,
thanks for the practice.


*names changed to protect the hapless. Except for Mike. He really was an asshole.